I ran yesterday, just like every day. I have been training
my body for the last week or so to become a runner. Not for a marathon or
anything like that, I just want to be a runner. I want to go on a morning run
or an evening run. For exercise, for relaxation, for fun! From 3rd
grade on up to High School, I ran track. I was a sprinter, and a really good
one. But I had no endurance. Give me the 100
maybe 200, but that’s my limit! I don’t have time for all the long distance
stuff. Now over a decade removed from being a track star, I decided to get back
at it.
I have a plan, I will run a little walk a little, repeat. Until I was able to run a little more, walk a little less. And
for awhile it seemed like I was still only able to run the same measly distance
and nothing more. But I kept at it. Suddenly, last night while I was going over
my same routine, something changed. I started running at my normal point and
expected to go until my usual stopping point, but when I got there, I wasn’t
ready to stop. I had breath! I could keep going!! Elated I pushed myself further
and actually passed my second stopping point. Well here is where things got
strange. Even though I felt that my body could keep pushing doubt in my mind began to
speak up. “Stop Candace, too far”.” You can’t run this far.” “ You’ll get
winded.” “ Your heart, what about your heart?” And then I felt it. Fatigue. Breathlessness.
Chest pain. I slowed down to a brisk walk. Why?
Sometimes we are so locked in our old ways or our old
mindsets, that when we are finally free and ready to move on, something pulls
us back. “You can’t do it.” “Remember what happened last time” “Everyone will
laugh at you… again” “Stop now, before you get hurt”. When the truth of the
matter is you have already built up your endurance, you are strong enough, just….
keep…. RUNNING!!
